Generally speaking, a relationship is only as strong as the person that wants it least. In this sense, a war is not declared when you want it to happen but when the other guy starts firing first. If you want peace and they want war, prepare for war because you are already in one (and chances are it will not end until one of you has lost so do not be the one to lose). Do not be decent to those that would use your decency as a weapon against you. In my experience, situations are only as good as the person with the least amount of integrity will allow it to be.
In many ways, Europe is too decent for its own good. Western civilization is not perfect but no civilization is perfect, and one would be guilty of the Nirvana fallacy if they measured the imperfect civilization against the perfect, but purely hypothetical utopia and found the former wanting. All of world history is written with blood & sperm (but some, not often from a lack of trying, spill less than others). Don’t believe me, ask the Mauryans, ask the Mongols, ask the Ottomans, ask the Seljuqs, ask the Timurids, ask the Umayyads; conjure up the spirits of Ashoka, Genghis Khan, Osman, Tughrïl, Tamerlane. and Muawiya ibn Abi Sufyan and ask them if they disagree. I am sure they would concur with Augustus, with Charlemagne, with Napoleon, with Stalin, and Atilla the Hun.
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